I'm not sure who, if anyone, actually reads this blog. I think I write more for myself then for anyone else. I also like to print the pages out and let this count as my journal for the boys. That's what keeps bringing me back. I want to be sure they have something when they get older.
Today I'm blogging about my mother and my father. Come Monday, they will be divorced. That's such a strange thing, still, for me to try and wrap my mind around. Divorced. No longer together. Separate. Apart. Yep, doesn't matter how I say it, I still can't quite get around it.
If you want to know what happened to their marriage, I'm going to make it simple. Circumstances and Choices. Everyone has them. Everyone makes them. Sometimes you make the wrong choice and that leads you into a bad circumstance. At any point you can make a different choice and be pointed toward a different circumstance. Maybe a therapist will help you. Maybe a religous coulselor. Maybe a friend. I believe that over time my Dad had many choices put in front of him and he constantly chose the wrong one. It would lead him into a bad circumstanc and he would again make a bad choice.
This caused him to stop loving, according to him, my mom. To stop "feeling", according to him. To basically loose all perspective about why we are here on earth, why we have families, and what we want from this life. He simply can't be happy with what is right in front of him. He wants something else. The problem is he doesn't know what it is and will never find it.
So, here we are. Just a few short days until their divorce is final. I feel bad that my children won't have their Papa as a guide and example in their lives. I feel bad that they will probably very rarely see him. But, these are things that are consequences of choices and circumstances.
3 comments:
Wow! That's pretty powerful Kim, I love it and can totally relate. Thanks for putting it into words. Keep strong! Love you bunches. Let's get together soon!!
Very eloquently put. The thing that makes us human is our ability to choose. That choice can be the difference between right and wrong, left and right, good and evil, moral and immoral, God or even no God. We are generally raised with a basic understanding of the differences of each, are taught the consequences, and even allowed to test some of them. At one point we exit this adolescent stage and accept the mantle of adulthood. With adulthood comes the culpability. As you stated it wasn't just one choice but a multitude of choices that sets the path. One can offer prayer, what guidance is accepted, and provide a positive bearing, so that our friends, family, and loved ones can make good sustainable choices.
My perspective.
I just wanted you to know, Kim, that people do read your blog. You are very insightful.
I'm sorry your parents have gone their separate ways after so many years and memories together.
Let it serve as a reminder to never take your own husband and family for granted.
Hugs
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