Life is ironicly funny

So, I'm going to tell you a story. It's a story of how you always need a good laugh and to keep your sense of humor with you. It's also a story of how you should just stay home.

My friend has had kidney stone issues all week. She needed to go to the doctor Thursday afternoon and I volunteered to take her. Mistake number 1. I drove her to the hospital at 2:00 and we waited till after 3:00 before the doctor saw her. I love that about doctors. He told her she could wait for the stone to pass on its own or have surgery that evening to have it blown up and removed. When asked how long it would take to pass, his response was 3 months. Which would you choose? Horrible pain for 3 months or surgery that night? It seemed less like a question to me.

I walked with my friend and a nurse over to the same day surgery portion of the hospital to get her checked in. Did I also mention she had a migraine? She was in a great deal of pain. I kept asking anyone I could find if she could have some pain medication. We were always told, in a bit. Once the IV was in.

We finally got called back to the prep area. By this time, another friend arrived. We sat in the prep area for almost 2 hours. It took FOREVER to get her IV in because she was terribly dehydrated. Just when they were going to give her the drugs it was time to take her back to surgery.

My friend and I headed to the waiting room. We watched the entire Saints/Vikings game and still hadn't heard anything. Long story somewhat short, she had trouble keeping her oxygen levels up and her blood pressure was high, so they decided to keep her overnight for observation. It was 12:30am when I finally got home. I am NOT a night person and was exhausted.

The next day, yesterday, my kids spent the afternoon with their grandma, so I thought I'd go help my friend again. Mistake number 2.

She was STILL at the hospital. Her sister was with her but had to go home, so I said I'd hang out and bring her home once she was discharged. Well, the hospital was having trouble finding her an oxygen tank to take home. I guess the largest hospital in the state has issues. :-)

After 3 hours of waiting, we finally got her dressed, hooked up to an oxygen tank, and down to the car. The nice nurse told us the tank would last 3 hours, so don't go out to eat or stop at the store. Go straight home and call the home medical people to come bring another tank. No problem was my silly response.

We're driving home and I'm going 65 on a 65mph Interstate. I'm trying to drive nice because too many bumps or turns hurts my friend. That's when I notice a red BMW just in front of us suddenly spin in a circle. My brain thought, "Well, that's a strange direction for a car to be going on a busy Interstate." My brain had not caught up to what was unfolding. Next, I hear my friend yell and then we watched as the BMW crashed head on into the cement barrier. By this time I had come to conclusion we were involved in something serious and slammed on my breaks. Slammed is not the right turn. I stood on them! I immediately looked in my rear view mirror, waiting to see a truck or car slam into the back of me. Utah drivers are not known for allowing a great deal of distance between vehicles on the Interstate.

No one had hit me yet. Just then, the BMW began to drift back into traffic. Well, really my lane of traffic. I'm still standing on my breaks trying to go from 65 to 0 in about 2 seconds. I thought about steering my car to the left and try to avoid her, but when I turned my head I saw a car coming and knew I could either get hit by the BMW or the car on my left. I didn't think those were good options.

That's when my friend and I tightened up and the right side of my car hit the BMW. We hit hard. The vehicle jumped and we came to a very quick stop in the middle of I-15 or a Friday night. The only thing I was thinking about was getting over to the side of the road as fast as possible, as cars continued to drive by. Please don't let anyone hit us right now.

We finally got over to the side of the road and a few other cars, who saw everything stopped too. Once happened to be an off duty south salt lake police officer. He ran to our car first and asked if we were okay. I said we were. He ran about 100 feet to the BMW and that's when it got interesting. A woman got out of the car and just about fell into oncoming traffic. To say she was drunk, would be an understatement. She looked like what I can only imagine an old barbie would look like. Black high heels, tight black pants, tight black shirt, fake boobs, giant lips, worn face, jet black hair, and eye makeup you could see from a mile away.

I was trying to calm my friend down while the officer was getting this woman out of her car. My friend wasn't hurt, but was very shook up. A nice lady walked up and asked if we were okay. That's when I hear the cop whistle at me and motion for me to come to him. I asked the lady to stay and talk with my friend because she was very upset. I ran down the road and he told me to go to his cruiser and get his handcuffs. Cool. I ran to his car and found them. Did you know they are very heavy? I ran them back to him and he put them on drunk barbie.

Now we had to wait for the highway patrol to arrive. They finally arrived, took everyones statement, did the fun drunk tests on barbie, which she failed miserably and arrested her. By this time my friend is starting to be in a great deal of pain, so we get paramedics to come and check her out. I thought if we had to go back to the hospital...

We didn't. She was cleared and we were allowed to go home. Oh, did I mention my car only sustained a scratch on the front and rear of the right side? As far as I can tell, no dent or crack. We'll take it in to check alignment and other stuff, but wow we were lucky.

I finally got my friend home and promised I would no longer bring anyone home from the hospital. I finally got home and had my mental breakdown. My mom told me I'd have a delayed reaction. She was right. She is always right.

Today I am feeling exhausted and very sore. My neck, shoulders, wrists, knees, and feet are really hurting. So is my back. I'm feeling sick to my stomach and so dang tired.

But, I'm alive and that is what matters. I can't believe we weren't hurt worse or hit from behind. The Lord really stepped in and spared our lives last night. I'm 100% sure of that.

I would write more, but I'm feeling very sick. I think going over this accident has made me sick, so I'm going to go lay down.