2 posts in 1

Post 1
Braedon and Reilly share their lunch and recess times at school. They go to lunch in a small cafeteria, get a tray of food, sit with their classes, and eat. They've been in school a month now. I've wondered if, upon seeing Reilly, Braedon would get upset and start to ask for Mommy. The other day Reilly's teacher told me the most tender story.

It was lunchtime and when Reilly walked in, Braedon ran over to him. Braedon took his hand and said, "Ridee, I lub you." He then walked back to his seat and ate his lunch.

How cute is that?

Post 2
Yesterday, I decided to really clean the boys bedroom. I took everything out of the room, cleaned the baseboards and walls, and cleaned the carpet. In the process, I decided it was time for Reilly to stop sleeping in his crib and join the ranks of the big boy.

He really enjoyed sleeping in Braedon's big bed when we allowed him too. I wasn't concerned with him rolling out of the bed and hurting himself. So, I took the crib apart and put it in the garage.

Skip ahead to bedtime. Dean and I were out on a date and our very good friend, Jamee, was babysitting. Braedon went to bed on his own, but Reilly kept going into the bedroom to jump on the bed. They both sleep in a Queen bed.

Quick side note...Braedon has abandonment issues. Why, I have no idea. Maybe it was the 23 days he spent in the NICU and could only be held for an hour a day...I don't know. We had to have a Queen bed instead of a toddler bed so Dean could sleep with Braedon and keep him calm at night. We decided instead of a toddler bed and a Queen bed, we'd just throw both boys in the Queen bed for now.

Reilly started to get very tired and whine and cry. He finally walked into the kitchen and just broke down. Jamee went and got him and held him on her lap. She rubbed his leg and held him until he fell asleep, at which time she put him in bed with Braedon. I think he broke down in the kitchen because he couldn't find his bed. He was so tired and just didn't know what to do or where to go.

When we got home both boys were asleep and resting next to each other. I should note that I am a heavy sleeper. It takes A LOT to wake me up. Dean is not a heavy sleeper and thus ends up taking care of the boys at night, cause he won't wake me up. Something about me not being a bitch in the morning or something.

Anyhoo...

About 11:30 Dean heard footsteps coming to our room. This is normal. Almost every night, Braedon comes to our room, gently taps my elbow, and crawls in bed with us. Dean then takes him back to his room. This time the footsteps just stopped, which meant only one thing. It was Reilly.

Dean got up and no one was there, but he did hear some whimpering. He walked to the boys bedroom and found Reilly in bed crying. Well, sobbing would be a better word. He was having trouble catching his breath because he was sobbing so hard. He was scared and didn't know what to do. Braedon wasn't there. Apparently, he got tired of Reilly crying and went and layed on the couch. I don't know why he didn't come into our room. He was just laying on the couch, without a blanket. Dean told him to go into Mommy's room and sleep, which he did.

Dean had to lay in bed and hold Reilly, tight, for 30 minutes before he calmed down enough to sleep. Now, for anyone that has ever tried to hug Reilly you know it is hug and done. There is no cuddle. There is no squeeze. Reilly doesn't enjoy human contact. Dean held him tight for 30 minutes. That tells you how scared and upset the little guy was.

When he finally fell asleep, Dean stayed in there with him. Every now and then Reilly would wake up and if he couldn't touch Dean he would start to cry and panic. Dean would hold him until he calmed down and fell back asleep.

What a great mother I am!!! I took away his comfort and safety. YES! Did I put the crib back up? No.

I think tonight Dean will sleep with Reilly and Braedon will sleep with me. Just until Reilly gets the idea that this is HIS bed.

Today I'm spending it hugging Reilly and kissing him and apologizing many many times.