The boys

Time to catch myself up on all that has gone on the last month and a half...

I'll start with Braedon...

He finished kindergarten.  He had the most amazing teacher who really cared for and helped him out.
By the end of the year, Braedon didn't need a special helper to help him do things.  He was just like all the other little kinders.  He even started to wear his backpack on the front like a few of the other boys.  If you'd told me he would be interested in peer pressure a year ago, I'd have been surprised.  To see him watch other children and want to do what they do is tremendous progress. 

He learned to read and write this year.  He struggles with blending words.  He is very good at memorization.  If you tell him the new word before he has a chance to sound it out, he'll memorize it but not read it.  If he comes back to it the next day, sometimes he remembers and sometimes he needs you to say it again.  Not really reading so much...  We are working on it this summer.

He started on addition and subtraction.  He has a hard time with the fine motor skills of using his fingers to count on.  For instance, you hold up five fingers and then four...three..two..and one.  Braedon has to use one hand to make his little fingers show four or three.  He can't do it on his own.  When he does math, he needs to use something to physically show x amount and add or take away x amount.  He also doesn't remember that he did 2+2 a hundred times already and it is 4.  He needs to go through the process of reading it and putting out two things and adding two things...everytime.  I know with practice he'll learn he already knows the answer.

I worry about 1st grade.  Plain and simple.  Braedon is six years nine months.  For those of you that know 6 year or 7 year olds, you know they can talk and talk and talk. You can ask them any question and they will give you some of the most interesting answers you have ever heard.  I loved doing it with Braedon's Kinder friends.  They told me the most interesting things.  For instance, did you know there are a zillion ways to open a coconut?  I didn't either!  Braedon is not like that.  He has memorized a handful of questions he knows how to answer.  Some include:  How do you feel?  What is the weather like outside?  What do you want to eat?  Who is your teacher?  Who are your friends?  If you get off those few questions he know, he'll answer you with "Sure".  He knows he needs to respond, but doesn't know with what.  So, I ask him What he learned in school?  He answers, "Sure."  It can on like this for a good amount of time.  When he gets into the 1st grade, he'll have more academic requirements and that's where I think our tough times will come.  I even wonder if, at some point, I might need to enroll him back in the Pingree Center or at Spectrum Academy.  The special education department at his school is absolutely incredible.  Everyone I have met and worked with is nice, patient, understanding, and really seem to love the children.  Their resources are also amazing.  I know Braedon will have some great support.  My struggle will be accepting he will need that more and more.  Just another step in the autism cycle of life.

I've been very happy with the progress Braedon has made.  I say that watching changes in children with autism is like watching molasses roll down a wall on a very cold day.  Eventually it will get there, but it will take a long time and maybe some additional help.  As his mother, I also worry about his future.  I'm learning more and more to live and learn and love and laugh...the rest will take care of itself.  Since I can't do anything to change his autism, I'll learn what I can do to make his life easier and happier.


Next up...  Reilly

Reilly is finishing up his second year of preschool at the Carmen B. Pingree Center for Children with Autism or CBP for short.  Because he was born in October, he gets another full year of preschool before kindergarten.  Thank goodness.  I just had his end of the year parent/teacher conference and it was both great and sad, all at once.  The progress he has made in two short years is amazing.  He has phrases he uses, "I want...please" or "Mama, I want...please"  He can even fill in most words for what he wants.  His pronunciation is really good.  He gets those t's and d's and p's out very well.  He has also learned yes and no.  He uses them about 20% of the time.  The other 80% he yells or screams or even grunts his response.  He often reminds me of a black little crow.

He is struggling with his fine motor skills.  His teachers and I think it has to do with not knowing if he is left handed or right handed.  He'll do things with his left hand and then see other kids doing things with their right and switch.  He never really learns to do something really well with one hand.  We are going to work on pre-writing skills and cutting with scissors this summer.

He has just started to notice other children around him and want to play with them.  That has been really exciting to watch.  Usually he didn't care if anyone was around or not.  Now he wants to run around with his friends at recess.

One thing about Reilly I think is neat.  He can spell just about anything he can say.  You can ask him to spell things and he'll do it.  Colors, animals, shapes, tons of things.  He started to spell things before he actually had words.  He'd walk around spelling colors and pointing at them.  One day he said the color instead of spelling it, BINGO!

We are trying to potty train him.  He has accidents and doesn't go number 2 in the potty just yet, but patience.  It could take a year or so to get him fully trained.  I know this, so I am pretty patient.  Another mom I was talking to was getting frustrated it was taking so long.  She mentioned her friend trained her little boy in only a few weeks and he was twice as young.  Mistake number one!  Most children with autism don't start training until they are 4 or 5 and could take anywhere from a day to several years.  I think Reilly will take about a year.  When language skills are lacking it makes it hard to communicate what is required.  It's also hard for them to communicate when they need to go.

I worry more about Reilly then I do Braedon.  For a time, I wondered if he was going to be nonverbal.  Now I wonder how much he'll have.  He may not be able to go into a mainstream public school as easy as his older brother.  Which is fine, everyone does everything at their own pace.  As long as he has all the resources and support he needs, I'm good.

We are now moving into our summer months.  We'll have my sister and her family come to stay with us over the 4th, my favorite holiday.  We go all out decorating and having a blast.  Then we'll head over to San Francisco for a week to visit my brother and his family.  Finally, we'll head up to eastern Washington to visit my other sister and her family for  a week.  Then it is back home to get ready for school. 

My number one goal for this summer???  Get my children to at least wear underwear when outside.  No naked butts!!